


Four Times Kenny McCormick Wanted to Kiss Craig Tucker

by CRUNK_ON_LIFE



Category: South Park
Genre: Also it mentions Miraculous Ladybug, At the same time! XD, Crenny, Dude I haven't slept in 5 years!, GAAAYYY, I actually posted this on my fanfiction.net account but-, It's a good show! Don't judge!, Like unicorn and Libarace gay! XD, M/M, Meh, Still postin' though, What!?, XD, hope ya like it, it's just kenny and craig being really-, really-
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-24
Updated: 2016-11-24
Packaged: 2018-09-01 21:49:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,057
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8639524
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CRUNK_ON_LIFE/pseuds/CRUNK_ON_LIFE
Summary: And the one time Craig Tucker kissed Kenny McCormick. Fluffy Crenny/Crenny McTucker. You get it yes? Yes. :D





	

**Author's Note:**

> ((WOOH! My first Crenny McTucker fic! Well, hope this was good for someone out there!))

_1._

Kenny McCormick wasn't a whore. OK, maybe he was, but that's not important.

What was important what that Craig Tucker was very pretty. Too pretty for a boy. Prettier than Kelly, Tammy, and even Kyle (Don't ask), who was most definitely gay for Cartman. But he didn't care about that. 

Right now, he cared about Craig Tucker. 

This was really stupid. Kenny had picked the worst guy to get a crush on; a boy who didn't like anything having to do with emotions or anything having to do with love.

Kenny didn't even think he could _have_ a crush on someone this long or this intensely, but from the moment Craig had accidentally fallen on him during football practice in 5th, Kenny had noticed how attractive the boy was. And when Kenny passed by the band room in 7th grade where Craig had been strumming his guitar and lowly singing a Mayday Parade song the blonde felt like he'd died and gone to heaven (He knew he hadn't died, though, because nothing hurt, and he was still standing in the school hallways 2 minutes after he saw Craig). Craig was attractive _and_ played guitar, _and_ he happened to like Mayday Parade? Sign Kenny right the fuck up.

However, the problem was that Kenny could charm someone he found attractive in 3 seconds flat. But put him in front of pretty boys or girls he had a crush on, and you got him at a loss of what to do. And it's especially bad with purple-haired, blue/black-eyed, metal-mouthed boys who can play Mayday Parade and wore blue chullo hats.

And today had been no different. He had tried to get Craig alone to tell him his feelings, but he had blushed, froze up, then ran away. And he's sure Craig looked at him either worriedly or angrily. However, he had looked himself in the mirror that very night and had told himself that he'd never forgive himself if someone else- _gasp_ -maybe even _Clyde fucking Donovan_ stole Craig away from him.

However, that next week, Kenny had never loved Cartman or Stan so much, for the fat bastard and the emo had become his saving graces that day for finally giving him a chance to talk to Craig.

As Stan, Kyle, Cartman, Butters, and himself were playing 2-on-3, Cartman had noticed Craig's gang that consisted of Token, Clyde, Tweek, Craig himself, and Jason and had suggested to Stan that they play a 5-on-5 gang with Craig's gang. Stan hadn't seemed to see a problem with it, so he had called them over. Craig didn't seem into it, but Token, Clyde, and Jason had seemed to want to play, so he went along with it.

Once Craig, Token, Tweek, Clyde, and Jason made it onto the court, the teams commenced a stare-off, Stan and Kyle staring down Token and Tweek while Cartman and Clyde glared and Butters and Jason tried to glare at each other. And all that was left to match up was Craig and Kenny. The noirette had crossed his arms and walked right up to Kenny, getting all in the shorter blonde's face until they were nose to nose with a smirk. Kenny felt his cheeks go hot. 

"Ready to get your ass handed to ya, McCormick?" He said with a toothy smirk, showing off his cute braces. Kenny tried to fight back his blush and grabbed Craig's chin. "Only if you're doing it, baby." He smirked. Craig raised an eyebrow and backed away from the blonde, his friends following. "Alright, boys. Stan's fags shoot first."

Kenny's kind of glad Craig had stepped back, because if he had stayed in his face a little longer, Kenny would have wrapped his arms around Craig's beautifully scrawny neck and kissed him full on his lips.

Good thing he hadn't. People were around.

_2._

Goddammit, he died. And it was Craig's fault.

Well, actually, it was his own attraction's fault, but Kenny's just gonna blame Craig anyway.

You see, Kenny was leaning against his locker listening to Kyle go on and on about his classes and how fucking annoying Cartman was being (Kenny and Stan were legit waiting for their wedding) when Craig had patted Kenny on the shoulder with a 'Hey motherfucker' and saluted in Kyle's general direction before walking off. He had gotten maybe about a feet away from Kenny when the blonde started choking on his bubblegum.

Craig had spun around and him and Kyle caught Kenny before he fell to his knees. Kenny was still coughing and sputtering by the time he saw Craig's face. He looked worried as he supported Kenny's weight. Kenny felt special for some reason. 

As he was layed on the linoleum floor while he (literally) died over fucking bubblegum, his soul had slipped out of his body and he saw Craig moving his coke bottle goggles off of his face to the top of his head and hOLY FUCK CRAIG'S LIPS WERE ON HIS AND THE METAL-MOUTHED BOY WAS GIVING HIM MOUTH TO MOUTH! WITH A LITTLE TONGUE!

Holy fuck did he wish he was still alive to feel that (Oh and by the way Stan and Kyle had screamed that someone killed Kenny and that they were bastards). And, if you think he was stupid because he died over fucking cherry-flavored bubblegum (he was specifically chewing cherry because Craig liked cherry. He hoped Craig didn't mind his breath), you try having death literally follow you everywhere, have a choking hazard in your mouth (HAHA! XD), and see what you do when your crush walks by you. 

See if you stay the fuck alive.

But in all seriousness, Kenny didn't count this as a kiss, since he didn't feel it. But if he was alive to feel Craig's lips on his, they'd probably end up fucking in the hallways if Craig was into that.

Still, when he comes back, he's not gonna chew gum. Like, ever. Especially not when Craig Tucker walks past him.

_3._

It was the 7th grade Red and Blue dance.

South Park Junior High's Blue team had won against Middle Park's Red team and, lets just say that South Park was fucking gloating.

However, that doesn't mean that the students wanted to go to this god-awful dance, with its fucking red and blue streamers and Fourth of July feel and overpriced as fuck pizza and shitty music. Still, that didn't mean the students didn't _try_ to have fun. They were gonna be there until 2 AM anyway (Let's be honest; even if South Park's team lost they'd still have to go to this fucking dance).

Might as well get trashed and make out with someone in a bathroom stall, right?

Wrong. At least, for Craig and Kenny.

Clyde had ditched Craig to grind on Bebe or something and Kenny's friends had left him for god knows what. He didn't care much for what they said.

At some point, at around 6:30, Kenny had said the stupidest pun known to man to Craig, who looked at him with a deadpan for a good 3 minutes. When the atmosphere was just changing from awkward to just plain embarrassing, Craig opened his mouth and laugh after laugh tumbled from his pretty lips. Kenny smiled and blushed. _That's the first time I've heard him laugh since 4rd grade_ Kenny thought with a grin as Craig leaned against him, clutching his stomach and laughing. Kenny wrapped an arm around Craig's neck and laughed with him.

The ice had been broken, and soon they were telling stupid jokes and laughing at each other's stupidity. At one point during the night, Kenny stood up, emptied the chip bowl (Everyone was too wrapped up in whatever they were doing to notice the stupidity) and put it on his head and started hula dancing. Craig laughed harder and placed a hand over his mouth to muffle his laughs. Kenny sat back down to laugh with him.

However, they stopped laughing and instead blushed when they realized the music around them had faded into a slow song. Kenny looked away from Craig (the bowl was still on his damn head XD) while Craig rubbed his neck nervously, red painting his face. Finally, the tall raven headed boy sighed and extended his hand to Kenny. "Well? Come on, McCormick. No need to pussy out on me." Craig shrugged, but he did blush brighter as Kenny stood up (Kenny only came up to his shoulder) and laced his cold bony fingers with Craig's. They walked to the dance floor and (ignoring the weird looks they got) started dancing, Kenny's arms around Craig's neck while Craig's hands settled on his thin hips, thumbing over his jutting hip bones.

They were nose to nose now, feeling each other's breaths and pressing their chests together. If Kenny moved his head any farther forward, their lips would connect. He was so close to Craig that he could see the little purple and white and cerulean flecks inside Craig's blue/black eyes, and he could feel Craig's chest pressed flushed against his. Kenny wasn't sure how to proceed as he was already close enough to kiss the noirette, but he was hesitating.

 _What if he doesn't like me like that? What if my breath is too bad? What if he's disgusted if I do it!? OH SHIT, I'M NOT READY!_ Kenny's thoughts would not shut the fuck up, and it apparently showed on his face, as Craig raised an eyebrow and tapped Kenny's hip lightly. "Hey, man, You OK?" Craig asked with a worried look. Kenny gulped. 

_Not yet._

Kenny nods with a (hopefully) reassuring smile at Craig. "Sure. I just don't slow dance much." He shrugs, locking his hands together around Craig's neck. Craig smiles a slight closed-mouthed smile. "You're doing fine. Just don't step on my fucking foot." the noirette reassured. Kenny laughed nervously. 

Then, the slow song stopped, and Kenny had never stopped touching someone faster than when he untangled his arms from Craig's neck and stepped out of his grasp with a grin. "Come on. We can hang out in the bathroom and watch shit on your phone." Kenny laughs and laces his and Craig's fingers together as he drags him to the bathroom. Craig blinks before laughing and letting himself be dragged to the bathroom. "Sure, McCormick."

As they settled on the bathroom floor under a leaky sink watching Disney's Descendants on Craig's shitty IPhone, Kenny kicks himself for not kissing Craig.

Then again, maybe that wouldn't have been the best idea...

...Cue Craig laughing at him because he never took the chip bowl off his head...

_4._

It's 3 weeks after the Red and Blue dance when Kenny finds out that Craig has never kissed anyone. 

It's not a shock. OK, it kind of is, considering how hot Craig is.

Kenny finds out when he's at Craig's house, shut up in the purplette's room with chip bags, pizza boxes, and 2-Liter soda bottles around them and their sides brushing extremely close as they watch Miraculous Ladybug. They're watching the Valentine's Day episode, and Craig comments that he's never kissed a girl or boy as soon as Ladybug grabs Chat Noir's face and smashes her lips into his. 

Needless to say, Kenny's eyebrows raised so high that they disappeared into his hairline.

"Really? Like, seriously!?" He asked with astonishment, his mouth open so wide his bottom and top missing teeth and tooth gap are extremely visible. Craig laughs at his impersonation of a fish. "Close your mouth, Mc-Whoremick. A fly's gonna fly in there and get you pregnant." He says with a smirk, watching as Kenny's mouth shuts instantly while he turns back to the TV.

"It's not that bad. I have metal mouth and I hate people. I wouldn't want to kiss anyone I hate...Except maybe..." He shrugs, and Kenny can't tell if it's his imagination or if Craig's really blushing pink and side-eyeing him. Kenny shakes his head and is once again made aware of how Craig's hand is on top of his and their sides are pressed together slightly.

_Oh. Shit._

Kenny flushes slightly, but doesn't move at all. That'd probably alert Craig that he's uncomfortable, and that'd be as awkward as the dance.

As episode 10 ends and episode 11 begins, Kenny turns back to Craig and watches him, biting his lip as his blue eyes flicker down to Craig's pink lips, pursed as the theme song for MLB starts up. He finds that he can relate to Marinette. At least a little.

Should he... _kiss_ Craig? Now!?

He purses his own lips and slides his Jillian Holtzmann-like goggles up off his nose and up into his hair as he leans closer to Craig, then closer, then closer...

Until Craig turns around, and they're nose to nose, just like at the dance...

Craig leans a little closer, and Kenny leans his body up to meet Craig...

They're almost lips to lips...when a loud pound at the door alerts the two teens that there's a world out there besides each other. They jump apart like someone has shocked them just as the door opens, and Ruby Tucker's illuminated form is made clear in the doorway.

"Hey asshole. Tweek's at the door for ya." She sees Kenny and raises an eyebrow. "Poor kid." She nods in his direction, then slams the door behind her as he leaves. "Brat." Craig says, and Kenny finds himself echoing him. His sister sure was something else.

"I gotta go see what that spazz wants. Watch the episode without me." He pats Kenny's goggles atop his head and leaves the room, closing the door gently behind him (Well. As gently as Craig Tucker could). While he's gone, Kenny blushes bright red and kicks himself repeatedly, placing his fists on his thighs as he sits on his bony, Band-Aid covered knees.

How the hell did he think that was a good idea!? Craig was obviously uncomfortable! And now he'd made it awkward!!

_He's got me spinnin' 'round,  
My feet are off the ground,_

Kenny can fucking relate. Craig's got his mind spinning around like one of Kyle's Dreidels (And those things spin). And he's still not back yet.

By 11:30, Kenny has made it up to episode 16 before Craig makes his way back to his room, sitting with his knees apart and his feet together beside Kenny.

"Sorry. Tweek needed help killing a spider at his house. Fucking weirdo." He shakes his head and settles in front of the TV, his hand on top of Kenny's again as he leans against the foot of his bed along with Kenny. Kenny purses his lips and turns back to the TV, not even paying attention to the episode on the screen. 

"What episode we on?" Craig asks, looking over at a nervous Kenny. Kenny doesn't turn to look at him. "16 or 17." He says.

 _If I look at him it makes it real. If I look at him it makes it real._ Kenny repeated in his head.

Craig accepts that the blonde isn't going to talk much more tonight and just settles to watch the show, his fingers laced with Kenny's.  
\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- _1._

Craig Tucker couldn't take it.

Kenny McCormick was too fucking adorable.

He'd started crushing on the blonde around 6th grade, and it hasn't let up since. You should have seen their dance at the Red and Blue party. He'd made Kenny uncomfortable by leaning that close. And now he couldn't help but notice things have been...weird with Kenny. In the lightest sense.

Kenny would blush more, he wouldn't meet his eyes (Kenny had to look up for most eye contact but still! At least he used to make an effort), a slight brush of hands or even sides and legs would freak the blonde out to no end. He was getting as bad as Tweek. But he never seemed to act this away around anyone else. Around everyone else, he's his charming, laughing, smiling, snarky self. Put him in front of Craig and he becomes a mess.

So, this leaves Craig to ask; Is it something he himself did? Was it the dance? That basketball game? That one time they were watching MLB and Craig had tried to kiss Kenny!? WHAT THAT IT!? Craig didn't know. 

All he knew is that he had to get it out somehow.  
\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
It had happened at Craig's house.

They were watching Miraculous Ladybug again (What can he say? It's a good show!) in Craig's room and they had been there at least since 5:30 watching Disney movies, and it was 8:30, so they had settled to watch LB until something more interesting came to mind.

Oh, did Craig have something in mind.

It was around episode 13 or 14, and Mylene had fled by that point. They were at the scene before the Adrienette almost-kiss. Craig's opportunity was opening.

As Marinette delivered her lines on-screen, Craig had tugged on a string on Kenny's ratty orange parka, causing Kenny to turn his head to the purplette. As Kenny turned with a bright pink flush on his cheeks as he noticed how close Craig's face was, he began to notice Craig's hand was on his chest, digging his finger into Kenny's parka as the taller boy leaned into Kenny more until they were nose to nose. Kenny was blushing by this point, as Craig had tugged him closer until the blonde's lips forcibly smashed into Craig's.

Kenny's eyes widened as the background noise of MLB was quieted. His eyes slid shut as Craig grabbed the blonde's bony hips and placed the poor boy onto his lap while Kenny himself wrapped his arms around Craig's neck, smiling against his crush's lips. They had pulled away, staring into each other's eyes with shit-eating grins.

"I've been planning to do that since 6th grade." Craig pants with a laugh. Kenny chuckled. "I've been crushing on your since 5th grade." He says. Craig raises an eyebrow. "Trying to one-up me, McCormick?" Craig asks with a smirk. Kenny smirks back. "Only if you're up for the challenge."

And as Craig tackles Kenny and presses the blonde into the couch and presses their lips together, let's just say it's pretty much a tie.


End file.
